Midlife Musings... Interview with Ana Stefan, the Aligned Body Coach.

"We are 100% unique anatomically and energetically, so let’s stop trying to mould ourselves into something society dictates and changes constantly."

“I wish every woman stopped giving a crap about society’s opinion.”

Every few weeks I post an interview with an inspiring midlifer on topics ranging from beliefs, goals and habits, to food, mood and mojo; from sex, success and style, to fitness, health and hormones, from sleep, skin and hair to career, change and challenges and a bit of whatever else you fancy that affects us women at midlife.

This is Ana Stefan, an aligned body coach (and in my opinion a champion of female body confidence, which frankly is much needed in our body-shaming society). She helps women feel stronger, more confident and more connected to their bodies.

The moment I met Ana at a Dublin LEO Women in Business event, we bonded over our passion for making women’s lives feel a little easier… her’s from the perspective of connection to physical well-being, and mine from a perspective of getting a grip on your emotional well-being… and the fact we know that the magic sauce of midlife is having a connection to both. Neither of us have arrived to where we currently via The Easy Route. No, we are still standing, (and occasionally dancing) in our respective ages and stages of life having navigated The Bumpy Road, often taking the Scenic Route, Lucky Lane and Graft Street too.

So here’s Ana's thoughts on body shaming, Barbie and mediocre men.

Hi Ana, why do you do what you do?

I’m here to show women that strength goes beyond the physical aspect and you can feel good in your body at any age or size. 

What’s the best bit of advice you wish you’d been given sooner?

Embrace your unique body and personality, it’s a cliche, but really, there is NOBODY like you. We are 100% unique anatomically and energetically, so let’s stop trying to mould ourselves into something society dictates and changes constantly.

What would you tell your 20 year old self?

Girl, you are smart and funny but you are also gorgeous! At 40 you will look at pictures of yourself and say how on earth did I not like my body? Enjoy your body now, there will never be a better time. 

What must have happened, or for you to have experienced or achieved that hasn’t yet, that you’d look back at 99 and say “Yes!”.

I will have constantly changed and evolved, travelled and learned and made a difference in people’s lives. I picture myself at 99 like a wise owl that has lived a thousand lives. A woman who moves with grace and enjoys her Qi-gong practice at sunrise and her fancy red wine with lunch.

Tell us one of the toughest things you’ve gone through and what you learned as a result.

I’ve gone through so many hardships I can’t even count; growing up without parents, moving country at 18 and then again a 28, changing a hundred jobs, quitting my corporate job to become self-employed. But I think one of the toughest things I ever did was Psychotherapy. Digging into the past to understand and learn where my limitations come from and having to make peace with all of that… it’s pretty scary and uncomfortable. What I learned is that on the other side of discomfort is growth and peace. 

What is your “guilty” pleasure (but we’re not doing guilt because guilt is a wasted emotion and we all need to own our shit, so what is your secret sauce that always makes you feel better)? 

I pretty much have no guilt at the moment and do whatever I want, when I want. But I am trying to be a minimalist and buy less crap I don’t need, so I think buying something I like instead of need is a treat, and a “guilty” pleasure. (Also, probably buying flights when I really can’t afford to travel).

What are you tolerating in your life right now, or what are you working on that you’d like to improve?

I am tolerating living in rental accommodation and paying so much for sharing a house with someone. I think it’s ridiculous and infuriating that I cannot afford to buy my place in Ireland, no matter how hard I work. 

What’s the hardest thing to balance in your life right now? 

Work-rest. I freaking LOVE my job and that means that I have 0 boundaries. I work 7 days/a week (which does not feel like work) and at any time of the day… I’m constantly on my phone. I preach rest to my clients, I am aware of burnout, yet I find it very hard to take time off, especially when I gain momentum. My head is constantly full of new ideas.  Sometimes I wake up at 4 am and cannot go back to sleep unless I’ve written down a to-do list. 

If you could wave a midlife magic wand, what you most wish for for women today?

I wish every woman stopped giving a crap about society’s opinion. I wish women stopped trying to fit into clothes and into norms. I want a magic wand that turns us all into feminists instantly. I wish I had something like America Ferrera's wake-up / de-brainwash magic speech in Barbie. 

What matters most in your own midlife?

Physical and mental wellbeing. I don’t give a crap about how I look or what anybody thinks when I can enjoy my walks, my reformer pilates, my partner, my travel, my work. Peace within is one of the things I strive for most. To be 100% comfortable with who I am and at peace with the choices I make in life.

What is a midlife mantra you try to live by?

If a mediocre man has the confidence to do it, I can do it. Not only I can, but I should. The world needs more women to get involved, to speak up, to run things, to lead.

What would you like to share about the work you do and why it’s important for women in midlife?

If you are at a point in your life where your mind wants to do extraordinary things but your body is letting you down, you need a new approach. You know that the new diets and screaming personal trainers are not working, so you need a breakup. It’s not you, it’s THEM. You don’t need to fight against your body, befriend it and see the aches and stiffness disappear. I can help you feel like you again. It’s hard work and it takes time, but if you want your agility, independence and joy into old age, this is the time to start.

All things Ana Stefan can be found here - https://www.anastefan.ie/

IG - @thealignedbodycoach

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Details of my own book Midlife, redefined: Better, Bolder, Brighter can be found here!

For more details on redefining your midlife, please visit my website www.themidlifecoach.org