Midlife Musings... Interview with Maryann Jacobsen, a dietician for women in midlife

"Following your gut will never fail you. My best decisions have always come from listening to what my inner voice has nudged me to do."

Oct 13, 2023

“Midlife is such a great time to work on lifelong challenges that no longer fit the person we were meant to be.”

Every couple of weeks I post an interview with an inspiring midlifer on topics ranging from beliefs, goals and habits, to food, mood and mojo; from sex, success and style, to fitness, health and hormones, from sleep, skin and hair to career, change and challenges and a bit of whatever else you fancy that affects us women at midlife.

This is Maryann Jacobsen whose mission is to help women through the mayhem of midlife with healthy habits and nourishing nutrition.

I’ve never met Maryann in person, but as has been the case in this age of internet, I haven’t always found my tribe where I live. We may live thousands of miles apart but we are very much in the same ballpark when it comes to our passion - helping women in midlife thrive.

She is a fellow Substacker and I’ve been following her fabulous Substack Midlifestrong

Maryann Jacobsen

for a while. She is brilliant at giving the facts and her attention to detail is really impressive. From hormones to health hacks, vitamins to vitality she is a power-source of knowledge for us women desperately trying to navigate this exciting but exhausting time of life.

Here’s Maryann's thoughts on sleeping better, a purposeful life and why now is the time.

Hi Maryann, why do you do what you do?

I’ve spent the last 15 years researching and writing about developmental stages and how they relate to nutrition and lifestyle. When I took on midlife, it shocked me to discover very little definition around midlife development.

Most of the focus is on menopause. And while it’s good for women to understand their options during the transition, they also need to learn what their aging body needs. In short, they need to know what to expect with this developmental stage.

As I work on my book for midlife women, I’m sharing what I’m learning in my Substack

Midlife Strong

What’s the best bit of advice you wish you’d been given sooner?

Don’t rely solely on healthcare providers to direct your health. I remember being in my early 40s and sitting with a nurse practitioner at a physical appointment. I asked her what I needed to do as a midlife woman. She told me I was doing everything I could. I wish I knew to ask for tests like ferritin to test my iron. I spent my 40s in an iron-deficient state of fatigue, anxiety, and a lower quality of life. But even as a dietitian I didn’t know. Not once did I have my ferritin checked throughout my life as a woman, and I wish someone would have told me to advocate for myself. Now I help midlife women understand how to meet their changing micronutrient needs, which has a huge impact.

What would you tell your 20 year old self?

Following your gut will never fail you. My best decisions have always come from listening to what my inner voice has nudged me to do. In my twenties I eventually followed my gut, but it took me a long time to act. For instance, right after graduating high school, I had a powerful desire to leave my hometown of San Diego but went to a local college. It took me about seven years to act on that feeling when I landed in New Orleans for my dietetic internship. Leaving home helped me understand myself better, which has been integral to who I am today.

What must have happened, or for you to have experienced or achieved that hasn’t yet, that you’d look back at 99 and say “Yes!”.

Personally, I want my kids to become well-adjusted, healthy, and happy adults. That they have work that is meaningful, close friends, and are on a good path for them. Professionally, for my work to help spur awareness of midlife as a developmental stage so women can more clearly understand what they need to be healthy. To achieve that, health professionals should be informed, and researchers need to conduct more targeted studies. And in all the lifecycle and development textbooks, there is a section for midlife, which is currently missing, at least in nutrition texts! To see that come to fruition would be a huge yes for me.

Tell us one of the toughest things you’ve gone through and what you learned as a result.

In my early 30s and late 40s, I had horrible anxiety symptoms. Feeling like you don’t have control of your body is incredibly challenging. But I learned that there are always answers if you get curious about what you are experiencing. My recent midlife anxiety, which resulted in swallowing problems, heart palpitations, increased heart rate, blood pressure phobia, and driving anxiety, catapulted me into the research. Now I’m happy to say my anxiety symptoms are practically nonexistent. It wasn’t one thing that helped, but a few key factors. If I had assumed this was just hormones, I’d never find answers.

What is your “guilty” pleasure (but we’re not doing guilt because guilt is a wasted emotion and we all need to own our shit, so what is your secret sauce that always makes you feel better)?

There are quite a few, but I’ll keep it to three. First is exercise. Most mornings I get up early to exercise, either run or take a weightlifting class. It really sets up my day and when I don’t do it, I can feel a difference. I’ve more recently discovered the benefits of deep breathing and find it’s amazing to calm me down and help me sleep. If I wake in the middle of the night, 10 minutes of deep breathing does the trick in getting me back to sleep. Last is having a show to watch with my family. After 7pm I’m done with anything productive and usually enjoy some time watching TV, whether it’s the Bachelor with my teen daughter or Stranger Things with my husband and son or something just for me.

What are you tolerating in your life right now, or what are you working on that you’d like to improve?

When I was young, I became hyper-vigilant of other’s needs while ignoring my own. Through therapy, I have learned that I unknowingly still do this. I also hide a bit professionally because it feels unnatural to put myself out there. I’m working on setting boundaries, getting in touch with what I’m feeling, and moving through the discomfort of being seen. It's tough stuff, but midlife is such a great time to work on lifelong challenges that no longer fit the person we were meant to be. I just feel ready to take it on.

What’s the hardest thing to balance in your life right now?

I work at home, so my biggest challenge is balancing my personal and professional life. I do a lot of work when my kids are in school but also on the weekends and I often find myself going back and forth in both roles. I’m working on being present with family and friends and then when I work focus on work and not chores or texts from distraught teens. It’s a balancing act I will never perfect but I’m working on setting boundaries. It’s almost impossible to have a balance when writing a book, so I’m doing what I can.

If you could wave a midlife magic wand, what you most wish for for women today?

My wish for midlife women is to fully understand the changes they experience both physically and emotionally, and what they can do to thrive. As I mentioned before, unfortunately, there is still a long way to go in terms of researching midlife, so we have limited knowledge about it. But my goal is to take what research we have and enlighten women during this long developmental stage (40-65). With deep knowledge, they can make informed decisions, which is what it means to be “midlife strong.”

What matters most in your own midlife?

Prioritizing my health and well-being, being authentic, and living a meaningful life. I’m investing in my health not only for the benefits I get today but also to maintain a high quality of life as I age. It’s important for me to be myself and surround myself with others who value me. And most important is to have a meaningful life through strong relationships, purposeful work, and hobbies.

What is a midlife mantra you try to live by?

Now is the time. I’ve suffered from procrastination most of my life. But midlife reminds me that now is the time. Now is the time to take that trip you’ve been talking about for years. Now is the time to make exercise nonnegotiable. Now is the time to set boundaries. Now is the time to take that class you’ve always wanted to take. Now is the time to deal with whatever lifelong challenges you’ve had. I think that’s what makes midlife so special; it drives us into meaningful action.

What would you like to share about the work you do and why it’s important for women in midlife?

I do the research so busy midlife women don’t have to. I’m compiling it all in a book which will be a “what to expect” for midlife women. After the book is done, I plan to do more speaking and contacting researchers to help move the needle in defining midlife as a developmental stage. In the meantime, my newsletter offers vital information for midlife women. Subscribers not only get my weekly newsletter here on Substack but also my Midlife Woman’s Biomarker Guide, so they can advocate for themselves at doctor appointments.

Maryann is on Instagram @Midlife.Strong and blog at MaryannJacobsen.com

Details of my own book Midlife, redefined: Better, Bolder, Brighter can be found here!

For more details on redefining your midlife, please visit my website www.themidlifecoach.org

Places on my 6 week group coaching programme starting on 30th October are open now. Refresh will help you review where you are as the year begins to close, and prepare you full of confidence and clarity for the year ahead. Details are here.