Oh I do love this piece. Thank you. It reminded me how much I love alone time. In my late 20’s I took off and travelled for a year on my own. I had the time if my life. As a 53 year old mum of 4, married, business owner I have found alone time trailrunning and ultra running. It’s my out…However I have a race in May in la Palma and my biggest worry is who will go with me. My husband can’t go so I’ve been trying to drum up interest from my sister and friends who have no interest which is absolutely understandable;) going alone felt like a step too far. This piece has given me the confidence to say… yes I can do this, go alone, you will be fine. 🙏🏽
Yay!! You will be more than fine... you will come home as a warrior woman 💪💪 I’m always nervous but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Thanks so much for sharing that and good luck in the race xx
I'm single and always have been. I travel a lot on my own. I would like to have a travelling companion but I don't so I am not going to sit at home waiting. My father gave me a love of sport . The joy that brings me has been my saviour. I will be 70 in Mar and I have booked to go to Saltzburg on my own. For anybody who is nervous of travelling alone just ask yourself 'What is the worst thing that can happen ' . Usually nothing except a great broadening of the mind. Mairéad
I agree, don’t wait to travel just because you have no travel companion! I started traveling alone at a young age, then stopped. After divorce and grown kids, I found solo travel once again and still love it!
Ah thanks for that Mairead and you are so right. There are lots of travelling companies now that organise trips for solo travellers... I'm thinking of going on a 4 day trip to Morocco in April organised by this company - https://www.instagram.com/women_travel_ireland
You really have a way with words and have been my inspiration so many times .
I was so bad at saying no especially when I worked as bed manager oncology hospital numerous times taking calls for doctors who didn’t answer or were too busy to answer their pagers .
Also doing stuff for my son and husband who could easily do it themselves felt O had to leave everything ready for both of them as guilty mum full time working .
Went to you exhausted .
Yes far outweighted the nos and didn’t serve me.
Started my W HI ,
Weekly hour investment on a Friday pm went for a cappuccinos on way home from work me time instead of cleaning the house ,
That could wait till Sat and be shared .
Now that I am retired drive on motorways but yes Alana I still want a driver .
A fantastic reminder of how to live life. We're terrified of being alone. Covid didn't help. As women, we're raised to be part of a couple, have children, take care of others. At least I was! Traveling on your own is akin to moving out of your parent's home. It's liberating to discover you can survive - and thrive - outside your comfort zone.
That’s a great analogy! It is which is why I really encourage my married clients to get out on their own more... keep establishing yourself as an independent person within the couple... not only makes you more interesting and feel vibrant, it helps if something changes down the line... thanks so much for your comment x
Alone time is SO important to me, my sanity and health absolutely depend on it. I still remember the first time I went to the cinema by myself, newly single in my 20s, and the first time I traveled to Italy by myself a few years later. Fear and freedom were my companions, as you say, but the sense of triumph and liberation when I'd achieved this was incredible 😃 Different parts of myself wake up whenever I spend quality time alone and I miss those parts if I don't do this regularly.
I used to think that being alone meant that there was something about me that meant others didn't want to be with me. But after more than 2 decades as a single mother, I've learned to be alone a lot. I get lonely sometimes, but also I sometimes relish the fact that I can make decisions for myself, go where I want, do what I want and be who I want, within the confines of needing to care for my son, of course! There is great peace to be found in enjoying my own company, and I wish that 20 something Esther had been able to know this. I love that your daughter worked it out so early in life!
I know what you mean. Single parenting can be so lonely. But I was often very lonely in my marriage so at least I can now choose alone time, and if I get lonely, try to find company. But yes, there is something special about being comfortable alone. xx
I was thinking about this 'alone' me a lot recently. I've never fully traveled 'alone' but I do spend time by myself while traveling. I enjoy eating alone out now too but it took practice. I value and am grateful for my choice to be alone. It does concern me that as we age, some cannot choose it, and are deeply lonely. If we practice this will it be easier in later life? I hope so.
I think there is a big difference being lonely and being alone. I’ve felt lonely in company and alone. But I do think practise of doing things on your own adds to the quality of doing things with others... and helps when it’s forced on you too. Thanks so much for commenting 🥰
I love this solution. I would like to share it with my sister, but she would be so offended. How do I gently suggest she let go of some of her control? I offer to help but she says she can do it better. She is 74, I am 71. It has been a long battle.
Hi Wendy, thanks so much for your comment. Yep, that's a hard one.... and the longer piece to letting go of control is the realisation that we can't control how someone else behaves. A lot of my work is helping people respond better to the people in their lives rather than change them.! That said, you're coming from a place of love... perhaps a way to share it is to say you thought this was an interesting piece and you wish maybe both of you had learned this years before to try and include yourself in it and take the edge off? And maybe in offering to help (I'm having this issue with my dad at the moment!!) is to say it more generally - "You're so good at looking after things, but just letting you know I'm here to help in any way you need. Just shout." Then the offer is there but it's not specific (which by controlling people can feel like a criticism). Hope that helps!
Oh I do love this piece. Thank you. It reminded me how much I love alone time. In my late 20’s I took off and travelled for a year on my own. I had the time if my life. As a 53 year old mum of 4, married, business owner I have found alone time trailrunning and ultra running. It’s my out…However I have a race in May in la Palma and my biggest worry is who will go with me. My husband can’t go so I’ve been trying to drum up interest from my sister and friends who have no interest which is absolutely understandable;) going alone felt like a step too far. This piece has given me the confidence to say… yes I can do this, go alone, you will be fine. 🙏🏽
Yay!! You will be more than fine... you will come home as a warrior woman 💪💪 I’m always nervous but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Thanks so much for sharing that and good luck in the race xx
Amazing! You'll have an incredible experience that will enrich your life so much! Have a wonderful time!!
I'm single and always have been. I travel a lot on my own. I would like to have a travelling companion but I don't so I am not going to sit at home waiting. My father gave me a love of sport . The joy that brings me has been my saviour. I will be 70 in Mar and I have booked to go to Saltzburg on my own. For anybody who is nervous of travelling alone just ask yourself 'What is the worst thing that can happen ' . Usually nothing except a great broadening of the mind. Mairéad
I agree, don’t wait to travel just because you have no travel companion! I started traveling alone at a young age, then stopped. After divorce and grown kids, I found solo travel once again and still love it!
Ah that's great to hear.... it's such an empowering experience to be out in the world as yourself, not just who you are to others. 💪
Thanks for sharing .
Travel is such an education.
Fair play to your dad and you
Ah thanks for that Mairead and you are so right. There are lots of travelling companies now that organise trips for solo travellers... I'm thinking of going on a 4 day trip to Morocco in April organised by this company - https://www.instagram.com/women_travel_ireland
Maybe see you there!
Love this Alana,
You really have a way with words and have been my inspiration so many times .
I was so bad at saying no especially when I worked as bed manager oncology hospital numerous times taking calls for doctors who didn’t answer or were too busy to answer their pagers .
Also doing stuff for my son and husband who could easily do it themselves felt O had to leave everything ready for both of them as guilty mum full time working .
Went to you exhausted .
Yes far outweighted the nos and didn’t serve me.
Started my W HI ,
Weekly hour investment on a Friday pm went for a cappuccinos on way home from work me time instead of cleaning the house ,
That could wait till Sat and be shared .
Now that I am retired drive on motorways but yes Alana I still want a driver .
You are amazing .
Ah thank you Noleen! You did all the work! Amazing to see how much more you give yourself 💪💪
I am not responsible for everyone’s happiness and everything in my home.
(Author Alana Kirk!!)
Simple. Strong. Powerful. Pertinent.
Brilliant and thankyou Alana .
Ah thank you so much. It's not an easy one for us to grasp!
A fantastic reminder of how to live life. We're terrified of being alone. Covid didn't help. As women, we're raised to be part of a couple, have children, take care of others. At least I was! Traveling on your own is akin to moving out of your parent's home. It's liberating to discover you can survive - and thrive - outside your comfort zone.
That’s a great analogy! It is which is why I really encourage my married clients to get out on their own more... keep establishing yourself as an independent person within the couple... not only makes you more interesting and feel vibrant, it helps if something changes down the line... thanks so much for your comment x
This piece really resonates with me, going on holiday on your own is the last word in luxury. No compromises, just pure indulgence. I love it. 🥰👏
It really is….anyone who has raised teenagers understands how precious it is!
Alone time is SO important to me, my sanity and health absolutely depend on it. I still remember the first time I went to the cinema by myself, newly single in my 20s, and the first time I traveled to Italy by myself a few years later. Fear and freedom were my companions, as you say, but the sense of triumph and liberation when I'd achieved this was incredible 😃 Different parts of myself wake up whenever I spend quality time alone and I miss those parts if I don't do this regularly.
It does feel so liberating doesn’t it!? Love this
I used to think that being alone meant that there was something about me that meant others didn't want to be with me. But after more than 2 decades as a single mother, I've learned to be alone a lot. I get lonely sometimes, but also I sometimes relish the fact that I can make decisions for myself, go where I want, do what I want and be who I want, within the confines of needing to care for my son, of course! There is great peace to be found in enjoying my own company, and I wish that 20 something Esther had been able to know this. I love that your daughter worked it out so early in life!
I know what you mean. Single parenting can be so lonely. But I was often very lonely in my marriage so at least I can now choose alone time, and if I get lonely, try to find company. But yes, there is something special about being comfortable alone. xx
I was thinking about this 'alone' me a lot recently. I've never fully traveled 'alone' but I do spend time by myself while traveling. I enjoy eating alone out now too but it took practice. I value and am grateful for my choice to be alone. It does concern me that as we age, some cannot choose it, and are deeply lonely. If we practice this will it be easier in later life? I hope so.
I think there is a big difference being lonely and being alone. I’ve felt lonely in company and alone. But I do think practise of doing things on your own adds to the quality of doing things with others... and helps when it’s forced on you too. Thanks so much for commenting 🥰
I love this solution. I would like to share it with my sister, but she would be so offended. How do I gently suggest she let go of some of her control? I offer to help but she says she can do it better. She is 74, I am 71. It has been a long battle.
Hi Wendy, thanks so much for your comment. Yep, that's a hard one.... and the longer piece to letting go of control is the realisation that we can't control how someone else behaves. A lot of my work is helping people respond better to the people in their lives rather than change them.! That said, you're coming from a place of love... perhaps a way to share it is to say you thought this was an interesting piece and you wish maybe both of you had learned this years before to try and include yourself in it and take the edge off? And maybe in offering to help (I'm having this issue with my dad at the moment!!) is to say it more generally - "You're so good at looking after things, but just letting you know I'm here to help in any way you need. Just shout." Then the offer is there but it's not specific (which by controlling people can feel like a criticism). Hope that helps!